Here comes Peter Cotontail, hoping down the dyfunctional family trail....

Growing up as a child, I LOVED the holidays. Easter meant dinner at my Bama and Poppop's house..usually with a sleepover the night before, time with my cousins, Easter baskets with cheap candy (there were 6 grandchildren after all), a new pair of PJ's and a day with the entire family. Bama would make a big pot of mashed turnips that would usually go back in the fridge with just a few spoons dished out of it (really, who like turnips?).

However since my grandparents are gone, my Easter (and Thanksgivings and Christmases) are far different than the ones in my childhood. My husband's sister never had any children and passed away a few Easters ago, my in laws aren't really into the holidays, the cousins I was once close to have families of their own, my brothers are too young to have children and my sister, well we aren't close...at all. Add into the pot that I haven't spoke to my father since October and it makes a sad holiday.


In order to try to recreate for my children what I had as a child, I ventured to SI to see my mom this weekend. Had I known it would end the way it did, I would have never have gone. I learned that I can't recreate for my kids what I had as a child. That was my life, this is my children's and my mother is not my grandmother. Don't get me wrong, my mom had a egg hunt for the kids and Easter baskets and a very good meal, but she doesn't have the patience my Bama had, nor do I. Three kids, ages 4,5, and 6 are too much of a challenge for me to handle in a house that isn't mine. My sister and I have too many differences to do more than pretend to be nice to each other.


So I sit here, depressed that another holiday has gone by without my grandmother, fighting with my husband who can't possiably understand how much I wanted my childhood Easters for my children, feeling as if I failed my kids buy being crabby and yelling all weekend.

Sundays

Another begining to the end of the weekend. I dread Sundays because it means tomorrow will be the start of another week....another week that will drag by yet go so fast. Doctor appts, lacrosse practice, work, a Fantasia night, a Fantasia party then Easter weekend is upon us. I often wonder how there are enough hours in a day and have come to the conclusion, there aren't. There aren't enough hours to get my house clean, to keep in touch with friends, to get my charting done, to spend quality time with my kids, to cook dinner and do laundry AND have time for myself. So are the sacrifices we make when we are wives, mothers, daughters, friends and nurses. I know there will come a day when I wish I had all those things to do, a day when I wish my body could keep up.


Today we are supposed to have a high of 63. Providing the wind isn't too bad I may take the kids to the park. It's ben awhile since they have been. I was hoping to take them to see Monsters vs Aliens but the price of tickets are a night out to dinner for the entire family. And right now money is an issue, but then again it is for most people. So a trip to the park is free and will maybe wear the boys out for a good nap so I can get some stuff done around the house before we head to dinner with friends.


UPDATE....I took the boys down to the park for about 2 hours. I gave them the option of the movies or the park. Of course one picked a movie, one picked the park, so we went to the cheaper one....the park is free after all. It was a lil windy, but overall a nice day. I took a book (Jodi Picoult, Handle With Care...ver good, but a tear jerker) and read in between the "mommy, look at me's". We walked home, a benefit of living with in blockes of not 2, but 3 parks, and I put the boys down for naps before dinner at our friends house.

It figues that after 1 day of decent weather, the rain comes back tomorrow. I know April showers bring May flowers, but geez Lousie March got a head start on April's showers.

I'm a Virgin

Well, at blogging that is. I blogged a bit on myspace, but too many people I know are on myspace! So I'll take a crack here.

Many people have told me my life is like a bad lifetime movie with a soap opera twist. In fact I have often considered writing a book, but I don't think people would buy it, it's not very believable.


I guess a good place to start is when I am at right now so you can 'meet' some of the importance current characters.

Me, Star. age 29. I am a full time home care nurse. I am a part time Fantasia rep (romance parties).

DH, Randy. A Full time fire/building inspector. A former firefighter for the government.

Cody, 5, our oldest son.
Shane, 4, our youngest son.

Cheyenne, 13, my niece who lives with us, for the time being (that's a whole other post on a day I am not ready to go to bed)

We have 2 dogs, a cat and a turtle.

I know it's not anything earth shattering, I am married, with children, and pets and I work. But I am tired, it's been a long day, added to a really long week. I promise more tomorrow.