Reminder

Today is Autism Awareness day. In years past this day meant very little to me. I have friends who have children who have Autism, but I was really unaffected by it. That is until Cody was diagnosed. On the grand scale of things, Cody has 'mild' Autism (aspergers) and functions pretty much as most 8 year olds do. But some days are worse than others, and today was one of them. Nothing I can point to and say this is why he had a bad day, just little things that add up.

A trip to the grocery store with 3 children in tow would be a challenge for any mother. Add to the mix a child with issues and that challenge has just been upgraded to a minor disaster. Each time I would have to speak to Cody (all while keeping my cool) I could feel the stares of the other shoppers, each time he was shouting or running or acting up I could see the shaking of their heads. I could hear their thoughts, their wonder in how a mother couldn't control her child, how the future of the world is doomed because mothers won't discipline their children. The judgement.

I wanted to shout "I AM NOT A BAD MOTHER, HE HAS AUTISM" but didn't. My parenting skills are none of their business. My son's diagnosis is none of their business. I owe no explanations. I know I am not a bad mother, but sometimes just need a reminder. Today was a reminder day.